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The Reality of Being Alone

Marbled Perspectives, 2017

Here's what I know: After a long day of having a busy lifestyle, whether a work area where people come in and out or being in the middle of a crowded room/street, at the end of the day the only one who truly has some sense of being is themselves.

There are the friends and then the family member, but who do you think is the only one right there with you at the end of a long day and possibly in the quietness of your room? (Ok, maybe you have a significant other but realistically?) When you close your eyes and succumb to the never ending thoughts at night, you are replaying all that has happened from the start to the end of the day.

It's completely and utterly okay though, don't think that it isn't. The thing with loneliness is the pros and cons that come with the packaged deal and although college has taught me a plethora of life lessons, being okay with being alone is definitely one of them. I've learned to care more about myself and to take care of who I am as a person. The process of being alone is a hard one and doesn't come easy, especially if you may have been a person who was deemed as the most social one of all and always had someone to talk to whereas there are introverts like me, who have had trouble starting a conversation at times. Being alone allows you the chance to find what you love to do and who you are. Honestly, what could be better than that for a person? To seriously take the time to actually think about what they love and how that affects them for the better as a person.

Like all cases and events, loneliness can lead one to overthink about all the things they may feel is wrong about themselves. Yes, there are the good aspects of being alone but sometimes it can be harming to one to be constantly alone. There's plenty of tools and ways to help you become strong and overcome that sense of being but one thing is for certain: you aren't alone at all. At the end of the day though, a person will choose to listen to what their mind is telling them and will allow themselves to believe they can never be removed from a situation of loneliness. Easier said than done because I'm still practicing this myself, but nothing is easy to begin with as I'm learning myself. As the saying goes, a room could be filled with one other person or a room full of crowded people and you could still feel alone.

A message from me to you though is that I don't want you to stop where you believe there is no more of a destination. If you are like me and in college, find some activities you may love to do. Everyone has creativity within them, but it's up to them to reach into that part of their mind and put those talents to use. If you aren't in college, the Internet has become a tool of the 21st century which allows others to reach out into the world.

  • Start a blog and write as if your heart and soul has so much to release into the atmosphere.

  • Go running or join a sports team (despite the tiredness, excercise is such a key in releasing all those thoughts from your mind, even if for thirty minutes or an hour)

  • Read, read, read. There's nothing like allowing your mind to catapult into another world and learning about someone else's work. (Of course I'm biased because I'm a crazy bibliophile.)

  • Paint/DIY/other art forms. I, for one, cannot paint or draw very well. That doesn't stop me from doodling on lecture notes, as bad as that sounds, or in notebooks. Go to your local store which has painting groups.

  • There's so much more from where this tiny list comes from!!

The thing with society is how they tell us to do one thing, but if we do it wrong or too well they call us out or find other ways to criticize people. Some paint loneliness in a bad light, and it's not. There will be times when you get anxious because you don't like the thought of feeling as if you are invisible to the eye, but to some you could be the most noticeable or admirable and not even know. It's a process and will take time. You are capable of whatever you choose to believe.

Although I'm still working on the idea of loneliness and trying not to let it own me by allowing myself to get out more in the world, it's still taking me awhile to feel comfortable with who I am. The fact of going to a college in a city where people are doing their own things and have already bonded in groups makes it hard to feel like I belong and have people supporting me, but I'm gradually learning that sometimes having only myself to make happy is more important. It allows me the time to think and view others openly and see how they act without people breathing down my neck all the time.

Don't let others tell you how you should feel because even in that crowded room you are just as important as everyone else and you matter.

Original post on on April 10, 2017. Posted on site December 28, 2017

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